Cockcroach : Intimate and Live!
SOMETHING woke me up in the middle of the night, and it forced all of my senses to react at their maximum. No doubt you will know what I'm talking about, since my topic header is already a dead giveaway...
I was blissfully slumbering and dreaming about being appointed as the next Pope ( nervously looks around), when I was suddenly aroused from my sleep. Even before I opened my eyes, I knew something was not right from the start.
Instinctively, the first thing I did when I came to, was that I quickly grabbed the intruder on my face ( or neck or whichever), and quickly shoved it aside. Not knowing what it was, I quickly got up on my feet, and turned the lights on.
To my sheer terror, the thing that has been prancing around on my face doing "god knows what" was the BIGGEST, HAIRIEST COCKCROACH I have ever seen! Okay, maybe that was an exaggeration. But it was still pretty darn big to me.
The cockcroach was frightened by me just as I was frightened by it, cause it was busy scuttering into the darkest corner it can find. As there was no bloody way that I was going to spend my night with this bug that has just sexually harressed me, I wanted to "seek and destroy" it ASAP!
I then got myself some tissue and a very long ruler. Using the ruler, I planned to force it out from its hiding place and then catch it with the tissue in my hand. I had no intention of killing the bastard, as I don't like the idea of killing. Okay, maybe just an Earwig or two.. Maybe three... Maybe ALL EARWIGS HAVE TO DIE AND GO TO HELL!!
Excuse me for the outburst. But it IS 3AM in the morning. ANYWAY, my plan failed, and it quickly scurried away and found itself a new hiding place; under my study table drawers.
I was thinking to myself at that time, " SIAO LIAO! If it manages to dig deep inside the dark bowels under the table, then I wouldn't be able to catch the son of a bitch liao!". Luckily for me, I then realised that I can actually lift the last compartment of the drawers up, as it was built to be "mobile" in some way.
Thus, with my mighty ruler in hand, I started to pull the compartment up slowly... When suddenly...
"CRASH! CRUNCH!!"
I clumsily dropped the sliding board. As I was afraid the commotion might have given the asshole a chance for escaping, I hastily pulled the entire compartment up, and do you know what I found?
The mutha-f*rker was lying on its back, not moving. Haha! I had squashed it by accident! Taking advantage of the scenario, I began to whack it furiously with my ruler like a madman thirsting for new blood...
After I have finally made sure that it was weak and vulnerable, I grabbed it by its feelers and washed it down the toliet...
However the story does not end here. I can't help but keep wondering "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT THING DOING ON ME??". Slowly, recollections of stories regarding Cockcroaches chewing on wounds and toes began flooding my mind. Luckily for me, it was not carnivorous and I have not lost any limbs.
But still... Why do I keep feeling uncomfortable and itchy all over?! Do Cockcroaches lay eggs in people AKA Facehuggers??
GASP! (00.)
I was blissfully slumbering and dreaming about being appointed as the next Pope ( nervously looks around), when I was suddenly aroused from my sleep. Even before I opened my eyes, I knew something was not right from the start.
Instinctively, the first thing I did when I came to, was that I quickly grabbed the intruder on my face ( or neck or whichever), and quickly shoved it aside. Not knowing what it was, I quickly got up on my feet, and turned the lights on.
To my sheer terror, the thing that has been prancing around on my face doing "god knows what" was the BIGGEST, HAIRIEST COCKCROACH I have ever seen! Okay, maybe that was an exaggeration. But it was still pretty darn big to me.
The cockcroach was frightened by me just as I was frightened by it, cause it was busy scuttering into the darkest corner it can find. As there was no bloody way that I was going to spend my night with this bug that has just sexually harressed me, I wanted to "seek and destroy" it ASAP!
I then got myself some tissue and a very long ruler. Using the ruler, I planned to force it out from its hiding place and then catch it with the tissue in my hand. I had no intention of killing the bastard, as I don't like the idea of killing. Okay, maybe just an Earwig or two.. Maybe three... Maybe ALL EARWIGS HAVE TO DIE AND GO TO HELL!!
Excuse me for the outburst. But it IS 3AM in the morning. ANYWAY, my plan failed, and it quickly scurried away and found itself a new hiding place; under my study table drawers.
I was thinking to myself at that time, " SIAO LIAO! If it manages to dig deep inside the dark bowels under the table, then I wouldn't be able to catch the son of a bitch liao!". Luckily for me, I then realised that I can actually lift the last compartment of the drawers up, as it was built to be "mobile" in some way.
Thus, with my mighty ruler in hand, I started to pull the compartment up slowly... When suddenly...
"CRASH! CRUNCH!!"
I clumsily dropped the sliding board. As I was afraid the commotion might have given the asshole a chance for escaping, I hastily pulled the entire compartment up, and do you know what I found?
The mutha-f*rker was lying on its back, not moving. Haha! I had squashed it by accident! Taking advantage of the scenario, I began to whack it furiously with my ruler like a madman thirsting for new blood...
After I have finally made sure that it was weak and vulnerable, I grabbed it by its feelers and washed it down the toliet...
However the story does not end here. I can't help but keep wondering "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT THING DOING ON ME??". Slowly, recollections of stories regarding Cockcroaches chewing on wounds and toes began flooding my mind. Luckily for me, it was not carnivorous and I have not lost any limbs.
But still... Why do I keep feeling uncomfortable and itchy all over?! Do Cockcroaches lay eggs in people AKA Facehuggers??
GASP! (00.)
Gashapons were added at 2:58 AM
1 Comments:
You're now a carrier of million of roach eggs in your body now. 7 days later, baby roaches will burst out from under your skin and take over your body. 7 days...
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