Unnamed Tabloid Post

Today was like any other day in the lives of many armymen. Dressed in their bulky-looking, "uniform-fetish" inducing No.4s, these toughened heroes roam the busstops every single morning, hoping to find a seat onboard the bus to settle their sorry asses upon...

We, at "currently still unnamed tabloids post", managed to reel in one unlucky simpleton from the massive stinky sea of greenish wierdos, hoping to find some scandalous insight into the mad world of the oppressed...

Mr Kenneth Law, currently ranked Corporal, has just finished his night class after camp, and was just zipping himself up in the loo when we pounced on him unexpectedly.. There were no struggling nor any objections though, as 2 elephant tranquilizers were utilised on the subject as soon as he was subdued. We had to commence with the interrogation as soon as the victim had awakened from his paralysis, as we didnt want things to turn ugly...

Here is what we, at "currently STILL unnamed tabloids post", found out from our victim of the moment:

Pardon us for kidnapping you from the toliet, may we ask you some questions regarding your sex escapades in the army?

Wha.. What the fuck is going on here?? Whats with the handcuffing? Are you guys going to sell me off to rich sickos?? Like the movie "Hostel"??

Relax, we won't hurt you... much. We would just like to know more about you as a person.. What were you doing outside so late anyway? Don't you like have to head home to view kiddie porn or something?

Kiddie what??? I was coming home from my Print Media class at MDIS when you guys whacked me senseless! Omg, am I going to die??? What are you guys going to do with me afterwards?? Omg, omg, omg...HELP!! SOMEONE, ANYONE, OH MUTHER!! *Muffled Screaming*

HEY! Stop screaming! *Covers up victim's frothing mouth* Guys we need some help here! Like right now! Reach for his throat dammit! Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut...... Erm.. is he still breathing? =/

Erm.. that didnt went too well, did it? Anyway, just before we dumped it's carcass into the *confidential* river, we managed to plow through his belongings... Among the boxes of condoms, butt plugs, vibrators, thorn whips, blindfolds, ropes, and many other unmentionables, we managed to spot something rather peculiar in his wallet..

There was this greenish EZ-Link card that didnt belonged to our Mr Kenneth, as it clearly reads Tng Wai leong instead... The person in the picture was not bad though; thick wavy hair, small round face, oh-so-dense eyebrows, sulky looking expression yet with a tint of mysteriousness around him... Wonder who this guy/boy/man of mystery is though... Woo, kinky...

Well, there we have it, our scandalous scoop of the day ; army personnel found dead with an ez-link card of another male homosapien in his wallet. Sweet or erotic? YOU decide.